Silence

Source from Google Images

"Oi kau hidup lagi tak kat belakang tu?", shout out loud from one of akak who is work in my department. 

For those who knows me, you know how am I. But for those who don't, I think they will assume that I'm the person who is arrogant, mysterious and too silence. Honestly, I'm not sure how to having a conversation with strangers, but surely when you already know me for a while, you will know how friendly am I.

However, because this attitude, I'm actually didn't really make any friends in my new workplace. I tell you what, I just know some new staff in my department, and for other department only limited to those that I already knew during my practical period before. New friends? Too less dude. 

Imagine this situation. I have attend for a town hall meeting with Managing Director last two weeks. Since this meeting involved all staff in my company, then I meet with many new faces that I never really have chance to see them before. I sit between two strangers, in third line from the front. This meeting is held around 2 hours. And I tell you what, I really don't talk ANY single words along that period. Seriously.

So what I did along that period? Since I'm going to that meeting in rushing and left all my things behind, includes my cellphones, so I didn't have any single things to do. I pretty damn boring along this meeting (plus the MD being there late!) therefore I just keep looking around. I could see each people having conversation with another's people like they didn't meet for a decade. All of them seems busy gossiping about the company matters, or at least about their family. While others pretty busy texting by their cellphones. The staff that sit beside me seems awkward and he really seems boring just like me. But at least he have his cellphone, he could do something, or else, he try to show his interest in other's conversation (with hope could participate with them for sure). At last, he did it. Me? I keep looking for the people around me, and anything around me, such as the chair belong to whom (there is such simple reference code write on there), emergency exits, the fire extinguisher, ceiling air-conditioner, and others. Trust me, you don't ever want to be in my place on that time.

Therefore when it comes to the wonderful weekend, I just realize that I really didn't have any friends to hangout with or to fill my precious time with some activities. My life seems pretty boring and plain, which exactly reflect inside me; empty and all alone. I'm not even sure who will attend my wedding later (why suddenly comes out with wedding?) and I'm also not even sure who really would like to marry this boring person thereafter. 

Since currently I'm also still studying in university, maybe it seems that I have big opportunities to make more friends for sure. But actually I didn't. I only have times to go and back class for straight 2 days (not exactly sure for next sem schedule), and the rest is working days. The lecturer days is surely tight for a whole day, therefore I didn't have any chance to meet  with other student's besides than my course mates. You think I have many friends among my class? No, I didn't. I'm friends with almost of class members, but not even sure they really could be claimed as my friends or not. I just sit alone behind the class and do my own things while lecturer doing their job, give a lecture to their students. I didn't really participate during class session neither participate with social committee among coursemates. I feel miserable and just look like an alien in that community. I'm also not exactly sure how I could been here in the first place.

I really would like to becomes Neal Caffrey in White Collar, where he could participate in any types of person to deal with, and I don't even want to have a miserable life like  Dr. Gregory House in House M.D. But though, I'm not sure how I could achieve this, since I really didn't have any skills relating to the involvement with other people. 

So my wonderful readers, could you at least tell me what should I do for breaking the ice that keeping my mouth shut along this time?

2 comments

fndrocka | February 17, 2011 at 2:52 PM

To me..friendly is not how conmfortable you can speak to ppl u know..but it is how u can comfortably speak and interact with ppl u dont know..or barely know.

Pendiam bukan sesuatu yang perlu diubah, its your attitude and nothing is wrong with it i guess.at least thats what my pensyarah told me. Bring pendiam and being confidence is 2 different thing katanya.

U know what..aku pun memang seorg pendiam..tpi aku pernah 2 kali dipilih jadi MC, memg tak ngam kan pendiam jadi juruacara?haha.mungkin aku pendiam secara terpimpin.haha.

Anyway..untuk break the silence..aku syorkan kau berkawan dgn perempuan, atau maybe jadikan perempuan sebagai kawan baik..nanti by nature kau akan jadi potpetpotpet.haha.

Lagi satu..kalau tak tahu nak cakap apa...ask question..pastu tanya lagi...dan lagi..nanti dah biasa. .Lama2 kau pula akan ditanya..pastu jadilah conversation demi conversation.ye tak?

slay | February 17, 2011 at 4:53 PM

Pergh, pendiam secara termimpin. First time aku dengar istilah tu. hahah.

Masalahnye aku memang ramai kawan perempuan. hampir kesemua rakan-rakan aku terdiri drp golongan hawa kot. heh.

yeah i try before. until i have no idea what the next question will be. till then, the same situation keep repeating again and again : silence.

aku ni kurang kreatif sebenarnye. bile dengan strangers/anyone-i-barely-know, aku tak tau sangat apebende yg aku nak tanye. takkan aku nak tanye pukul bape skarang padahal aku pakai jam tangan?takkan aku nak tanye bende yg aku dah tanye semalam kot? takkan nak tanye aku hensem ke tak ye dak? itu kau ye la. hahah.